ROSES ARE RED WATCHES ARE GOLD GET ON YOUR KNEES AND DO WHAT YOUR TOLD

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "What is this? A joke?" They then proceed to rape the barman.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

their were 2 muffins. one said hello how are you. the other screamed "A TALKING MUFFIN"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

thumb_up thumb_down +20

i read the terms of service when i posted this

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you get when you cross a muslim and a mexican? i don't know, i just thought that this would make an interesting question.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's big and messy? A big mess

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the homeless man do with his trolley full of aluminium cans, He took them to the scrapyard and sold them as this is his only source of income right now

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the gay man die? He had AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the catholic priest say to the naked boy where are your clothes?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops