- Anti Joke

why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind

OHIO DRIVERS.......THAT IS ALL......

What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

Yo mama so fat, her whole family is encouraging her to exercise and go on a diet.

What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

A black guy walks down the street. He sees a lamp, picks it up and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he has 3 wishes. The black says he wants to be thin, white, and get alot of pussy. The genie says, congadulations your a condom!!

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles roll ed into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’ The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.. ‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled.... And than he shove all the items up his ass

Fucked thinking zero out of sub level -1 I hate Black Mexican Jews Born in China! But that does not make me a racist! I insist I am not a racist, there exists only two of them and they are both assholes... ...Or is that racist? :S NeroMetal: The ONLY Moralman aka the most pointless man in history not the "leader of Neronist whatever fuck I raped and killed that Faqq0t murderer, no fucking "Church Of Nero" There is no code embedded here... ...Or is that racist?:S

A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

Police Report: A 100 year old man was beaten to death on his centennial birthday. Sources claim to say he was "getting his birthday punches"

What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

why did the little girl get her hair cut? she has cancer.

Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

women's rights

3 friends are out camping. One says to the other "It sure is a great day to go fishing." The other says "Yes indeed." The third one says "I agree." After a few minutes of hiking, they go to lake and begin fishing.

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

SKnock Knock. Whose there? Why don't you open the door and find out instead of questioning the millions of other people that knock on your door everyday?

A moose walks into a grocery store. It goes up to the clerk and asks, "do you guys have any potatoes?" the clerk replies oh yeah they're in isle... Ooooh wait a second. You're a moose. The moose responds, "Yes, indeed I am." The clerk then says "Oh ok, isle seven."

Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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