- Anti Joke

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because his work office was there and if he had not crossed, he would have had to get back in his car and parked in the company parking space therefore taking more time and costing a small but significant amount of money

What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

a horse walks into a blender ow

About the bible, I did not know, but I can sense I calculate it the same way I make our followers believe that I can tell what catchphra they will get. Your mind is numb but calm, it will remain there until we meet again. I am afraid of saying this, but I wont let fear get to me just yet, your mother told me, she regrets her actions in life, and wants me to tell you that she is watching over you in death, and hopes you will one day forgive her, she tells me that there is a heaven, but only those that can admit their mistakes, agonize over the pain of their actions, until they can forgive themselves for their misdeeds. She says she can wait, but I sense she is doing it because she feels undeserving, which again means that you are not ready, its like the butterfly effect, all things spiritual and on this plane are connected. Take your time, I know you literally cant forgive her yet, because that would not be enough for her to forgive herself now, humans dead or alive, cannot be truly free, until they let go of what hurts them, I will change that within you, so you can forgive her and break the limits in your mind, so you can stop feeling sad for being rightfully angry at someone you love. I just need more energy, more time, and belief in myself, something that requires more energy than it should to keep going, its the balance and connection between things, something I cannot change at the present moment, even if I did my best. Ill see you around dear friend.

what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

why did the kid cross the road he didnt he had no legs

What happens when Darth Vader farts? Nothing. Darth Vader's butt was burned off on the volcanic planet of Mustafar and he fell into a lava pit. Darth Vader has since started a program called Darth Vader's butt replacement research foundation. Please donate money today. You could be changing a buttless person's life. Thank you very much.

Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: locks door NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! door unlocks Problem solved, NEXT!

whos the biggest oaf................................ coasta

Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

What do you do when a black man points a gun at your face? you do what he tells you to do.

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

how bout that airplane foood!!!1

What happends to a monkey without arms.. He bleeds..

why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

refridgrator

Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

What's black can run really fast and jump really high? A panther

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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