Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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5

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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Yes.

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What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

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Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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I am on a escalator.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Just about everything seeing how the holocaust is not a funny event, but rather enormous tragedy.... Assholes.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to order a couple drinks, and shortly leaves after drinking them, later ending up in a fatal car accident.

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Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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