What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black man climbing a mountain. A mountain climber.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. what is catness and pita name together pines

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red violets are blue i forgot what i was gonna say my dad is an engineer

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Sally with prosthetic arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The jets are a good team..

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your momma's so fat in her history class they wrote down what they were doing

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the best way to get to a girls heart? A knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

thumb_up thumb_down -5

John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops