Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

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What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

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An Asian Man Has His Eyes Wide Open

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How did Elmo get his show? Because the kids loved his furry ass and hoped to be on with dorthy

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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a man walks into a bar. he orders a single drink, enjoys it, and drives home feeling a bit tipsy, but he was still able to operate his vehicle without an accident or a criminal charge.

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I watched The Pianist last night? Holocaust

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Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Is your plant made out of Osmium, Molybdenum, Silicon and Sulfur? Because it's going through OsMoSiS. That was just a joke, not a pick up line. Unless I was giving a pick-up line to your plant, which I definitely wasn't...

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What made people stop likeing Ice tea? Ice-T

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What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

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What do you call a pencil that's been broken in half? 2 pencils

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Why is the sky blue? Because bicycles have two tires

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whats the difference between a mexican and a fish? one is a human being while the other is a fish, what did you expect?

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Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

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question:How do you call a Russian with Ak47. answer: Spetznaz

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Certainly not Sally

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Gay jokes aren't funny Cum on guys

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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