Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll order The Special, what's wrong with you?

What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

"i see", said the blind man ... ...to his deaf wife... ...while his crippled children jumped for joy....

how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

69

why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

Hi. Hello. I live in Iowa. Same. Im your neighbor. Same. I like corn. Same. Im gay. Same. HAHAHAHAHAHA gotcha! No i really am gay and the fact that you thought that was funny saddens me deeply.

a man said hi.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What do you call a black person with white legs ? Ashy

Jimmy Saville

what happened to the farm animals? They were slaughtered and their parts were sold as meat, glue and other useful materials

Once upon a time, a boy sat on a hedgehog. He abruptly stood up, as the spikes had caused him a certain amount of discomfort.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a pineapple? There will be no funeral for the pineapple..

OK. so a guy walks up to another guy and says hi. The other guy said nothing. The other guy said hi again. The guy said nothing The guy got really mad and slapppeed him across the face. Finally the man said PURPLE RABBID COMPUTER TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and walked away while liking his blue brick.

What did the retarded asian dolphin eat for breakfast? A big bowl of shit

Sure, I like all kinds of Juice. -Apple Jews -Grape Jews -Orange Jews The list goes on,,,

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

Why did the Mexican drive off a cliff Because he lost control of his vehicle which resulted in an unplanned trajectory causing his car to divert from the intended course and thus veer off the road onto the cliff

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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