What happens when you shoot a giraffe? It dies.

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What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

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why did the cow eat the seahorse/ because my shift keys are broken1

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What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

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Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

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Did you know that a hamster and a cigarette are almost the same? How? Because they are both completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

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woman's rights

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what do you think when you see someone throw a man with no arms and legs into the ocean? chances of survival are minimal

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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hi will

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman notices this rather humorous cliche and proceeds to point it out, laughs are shared by all.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

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Five men walk into a bar. The bartender says, more taste or less? None of them care.

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

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michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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