What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mom is so fat, she got obese and died.

thumb_up thumb_down

Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

thumb_up thumb_down

Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

thumb_up thumb_down

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

thumb_up thumb_down

Smeg...

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

thumb_up thumb_down

dad said he had to drop the kids off at the pool what does that mean mom? honey it means dad has to take a shit beacuase shit looks like retarded black kids with down sydrome

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Whats the biggest lie? A: The Cake...

thumb_up thumb_down

Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's round and red? A red and round solid.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

thumb_up thumb_down

SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

thumb_up thumb_down

why was the boy's face burnt? a horrible accident involving a lighter and some hairspray

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

thumb_up thumb_down

Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

thumb_up thumb_down

An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I love pissing people off :P

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops