Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

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A black guy walks into a bar. He falls unconscious and an ambulance is quickly called to bring him to the hospital.

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Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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OHIO DRIVERS.......THAT IS ALL......

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What do you call a homosexuall man? Homosexuall man.

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Why did he have to die so young? It just isn't fair... In all considerations, the bullet didn't ask to become embedded in his skull either.

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What do you do when a taco eater eats your food? Beat him with the nearest black man's dick.

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Your Mom The End.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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What did the father give to his daughter? AIDS.

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why was the man sad? his wife died

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why did the man tell a joke? to make people laugh

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a whore.

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Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

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A man's car broke down on a lonely country road in the middle of a stormy night. Spotting a light in a farmhouse nearby, he made his way there through the mud and driving rain, and knocked on the door. The farmer who lived there answered, and said what while he didn't have any room in the house, the barn would provide shelter and warmth until morning. Thankful for the hospitality, the stranded man made his way to the barn and made a place to sleep in the hay. As the lightning flickered outside, briefly illuminating the barn's interior, he noticed knot-holes in the wood of the stall walls, and the hoses of a milking machine laying nearby. He then fell fast asleep. The farmer woke him up in the morning, and together they rode on a tractor to the road to make the necessary repairs to the man's automobile, but only after enjoying a country breakfast prepared by the farmer's wife and lovely eighteen year old daughter.

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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Q; What is green and eats rocks? A; The green rock eater... Q;What happens when you through a rock straight up in the north pole? A; The green rock eater eats it..

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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