A man is approached by a mysterious character in the streets, offering to tell him a dark and amazing tale. The man declines and walks away.

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WUT SMELLS ? my poo

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? Seven brutally abused and raped 6 as a child.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

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What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

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Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

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why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

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How do you kill zombie Jesus? You can't.

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Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

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Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a dick you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now,

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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fuzzy wuzzy was a bear fuzzy wuzzy had no hair so fuzzy wuzzy wasn't fuzzy was he? yes

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What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Farmers are outstanding in their fields

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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