Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

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slaughter the mussies #EDL

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

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What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

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2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

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whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

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Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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What did the kid say before he died Nothing he was terminally ill

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Q.why is there so much drama? A.it's a reality tv show.

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Your future.

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your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

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^that joke a piece of shit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a deer

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Wanna hear a joke? Fifa price ranges.....:(

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How did Princess Diana cross the road? Through the windshield

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your family is dead. Your family is dead, who? Your family is dead.

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knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

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Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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