Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

do you currently smoke? i hope not.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q.When is a dog, not a dog? A. never

thumb_up thumb_down -4

2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

slaughter the mussies #EDL

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than the holocaust A.MRS FRANK B.HITLER ANSWER MRS FRANK

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A gay Asian guy walks into a gay bar where he found a fruity looking black man... The Asian went up to the black man and said, " how'r they hanging?" shocked with anger, the black man hits him in the face, knocks him to the ground and said, " YOU DO NOT TALK TO MY FAMILY THAT WAY. BOTH MY GRANPARENTS WERE LYNCHED!!!" the Asian stands up and brushes himself off... He turns to the black guy and says " I meant the balance scale at the table you were were sitting at" the black fellow turns to the table with the notebook and the balance scale with rocks on both sides that he was sitting at... He turns back to the Asian man and apologizes for his rude behavior and buys him a drink... (2 hours later) they have sex

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your family is dead. Your family is dead, who? Your family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a man with a serious lung diesease was brought into a hospital, through continuous care they were not able to save him and he died the following morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did Princess Diana cross the road? Through the windshield

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops