What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

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Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

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What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

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Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

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What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

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Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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When life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians.

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wanna no wats not funny........ aids

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

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Your grandma and your mom drove of a cliff, who survived? Both of them they didn't drive off a cliff

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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What do you look for in a woman? a pulse.

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how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

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Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

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A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

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"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

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When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away her Gameboy.

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Why does blond women give great blowjob? Because they has vaacum in thier heads! Blond woman coment; well thats better than having nothing at all in your head! :-)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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