How do you make a japanese man horny? Mutilate his girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mama's so fat.... I ran around her twice, And got lost

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Once upon a time Jimmy was walking home from school. Jimmy was then confronted by a a pedophile so he suddenly ate himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you kill a woman? Let her drive

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

say cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic..

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? The parking lot was across the street from KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a man walks into a bar. ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than seeing Levi naked? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops