What do you call a dog that's having a stroke? An emergency animal hospital.

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Did you hear about the eskimo and the pregnant lady? The eskimo got the pregnant lady pregnant.

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How many arabs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. We also have a black president.

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How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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Ok, for Christ’s sake, these sh!tty “animals falling out of a tree” jokes are NOT funny; they were never funny and they’re certainly not getting any funnier with you rehashing them every 5 posts. Fncking stop it.

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Yo momma is so fat that we are incredibly concerned for her health.

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So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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i am an inbred jew who likes penis up my bum ~Nathan Barras

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What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

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What's worse than an anti-joke? People who don't get the concept of an anti-joke and post regular jokes on this site.

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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So two clowns walk into a bar... . . . . . . . . . . They died

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dogs do not have aposable thumbs therefore they cannot screw in light bulbs

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Davey Peterson.

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What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm Blind.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

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A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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