How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

bill is either dead or alive. bill is not dead therefore bill is alive

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: A boy went to 7-11 and bought Coke instead of 7up. Why? A: I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what do you call a black man drinking cool-aid? thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you say when someone attempts to steal your cheese? Give me my cheese!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

(402)217-6102 that is Jesse

thumb_up thumb_down +26

When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock. Racism.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

"I see," said the blind man to the deaf man.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops