Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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Q: What do the Terms of Service say? A: I dont know, I didnt read them.

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hi will

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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a hobo begs and begs for a dollar to buy something. a man finally gives him a dollar. what does the hobo buy? nothing. he walked into 711 and got shot.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven murdered sixes wife and kids and said he was next.

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Why does blond women give great blowjob? Because they has vaacum in thier heads! Blond woman coment; well thats better than having nothing at all in your head! :-)

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

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What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

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what's blue and goes blub blub? a blue blub blub

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

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"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

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Why can't a black guy be the King of England? He's not in line for it.

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? The black guy is a sentient human being, and the bucket of shit is just a metal container filled with feces

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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Q. what is catness and pita name together pines

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In Soviet Russia, table flip you! ???? ? /(. - . \?

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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What was the last thing going through the man's mind who cleans the 90th floor windows on the World Trade Center on 9/11? The 91st floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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