Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jahova's witnesses.

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is black.

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If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

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Have you ever seen Ethiopian food? No, neither have Ethiopians.

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

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You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

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What's the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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What worse than the holocaust? Danny's.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue...........Im wearing socks

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YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX the preacher then bitchslaps the black man

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops