What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

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What's black and red all over? Half a cat

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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tobi packs fudge+parkers gay-sami

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A muslim walks pass a bomb shop on his way to the international peace club.

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Did you hear about the guy who got his entire LEFT side ripped off? He's dead.

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Your biggest fan.

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Why was the teen boy shirtless? He was mauled by tigers.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a Mexican man jump off a bridge. They were all suffering from chronic depression and couldn't take the pressures of life anymore.

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What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball who? No wonder it's super.

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How do you get a Black Person out of a tree? Well, if he is stuck call 911 itmediatly!

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A BRICK!!

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69

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A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

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Who's there? Knock Knock.

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

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What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

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Why did Old Man Robert fall down the stairs? Someone kicked him down. And then he died.

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A pedophile walks into a Nursery. He get's arrested.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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