What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

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What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

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When is it okay for priests to touch underage boys? Ash Wednesday, they have place ash using their hands on the boys foreheads.

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Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

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President Donald Trump

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A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? - Getting killed in the Holocaust. Whats worse than that? - Nothing.

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What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. He values his privacy and will not tell me his motives.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A bleeding zebra.

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Whats wrong with that Nothing

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NAACP

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I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

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When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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How do you distinguish between an unlabeled carton of milk and an unlabeled carton of cream without breaking the seals? You label them.

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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A 12-year-old boy comes up to the Polish man and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw you and your wife doing it. Nyah, nyah, nyah!" The Pole answers, "You are a very rude, disrespectful, and inappropriate child. Where are your parents?"

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Knock knock Who's there? A penguin A penguin who? Just kidding, a penguin could never survive in this climate, I'm mark and was wondering if I could give you an estimate on some new siding

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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Its easy they said, just type your text below they said, so I did

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops