How do you stop a clown from laughing? You hit it in the face with an axe.

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Q.why is there so much drama? A.it's a reality tv show.

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Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

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Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

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What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

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42, that is all

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

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Why i didn't bought the "Anti Joke The Book".. Because the joke in it aren't funny..

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What do you say to man with no hands. How do you feel.

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Why did the rabbit jump? Because that's what rabbits do.

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What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

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The other day I saw this dog. It said woof.

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman notices this rather humorous cliche and proceeds to point it out, laughs are shared by all.

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Q: why did suzie fall out of the swing? A: because she was a pinecone

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

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Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

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what is sticky and brown?a stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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