What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

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Q: What is a man? A: A miserable little pile of secrets.

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What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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What do giant panda bears eat? giant bamboo

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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A man runs into a house and unloads a round of bullets killing 2 people in the kitchen. He wins Search and Destroy for his team at Nuketown.

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Damn Nero... So you are saying there is no hope left, the underground society is dead and buried.

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What do you call a fat kid who eats twinkies. Otto Hintz`````

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what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

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this guy didnt get any pussy last night so go easy on him I I I V

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How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

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Why was the black man at the back of the bus... Cause all the other seats were taken

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

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Woman's rights

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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7 chickens ran down the road. One ate a spider. He is now the fattest chicken.

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Women's rights.

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What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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