- Anti Joke

A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

Q: What is a man? A: A miserable little pile of secrets.

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

What do giant panda bears eat? giant bamboo

What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

whats the difference between a chicken and a rooster. a rooster has a dick

Struggling with self esteem? Wish you were more attractive? Well stop wishing you fugly cum dumpster.

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What do you call it when a black man and a japanese woman get married? A wedding.

Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

You know what's funny? Clowns.

pinky ponky went a bit wonky oh no plz dont go or i will rape you untill you know

How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

Women's rights