A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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a hobo begs and begs for a dollar to buy something. a man finally gives him a dollar. what does the hobo buy? nothing. he walked into 711 and got shot.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven murdered sixes wife and kids and said he was next.

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Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why does blond women give great blowjob? Because they has vaacum in thier heads! Blond woman coment; well thats better than having nothing at all in your head! :-)

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"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

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Why can't a black guy be the King of England? He's not in line for it.

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? The black guy is a sentient human being, and the bucket of shit is just a metal container filled with feces

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Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Q. what is catness and pita name together pines

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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In Soviet Russia, table flip you! ???? ? /(. - . \?

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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