A bear walked into a bar, unfortunately there were no survivors.

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Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He saw a fish.

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-Knock Knock -Come in!

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- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

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Roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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Why does Mario wear coveralls? Because it makes practical sense for his full time job as a plumber.

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where do you find sunglasses at? the store

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knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Why didn't the man have a vagina? Trick Question. Everybody has a vagina.

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Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench. A bench is wooden while a black guy has a human body composed of mostly water.

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Your mother is so fat that when she steps on a scale it shows her a weight that she is not very satisfied with

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.

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Q: how do you catch a bear? A: you dig a hole, fill the hole with ashes, surround the hole with peas, and when the bear comes to take a pea kick him in the ash hole

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I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

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Justin Bieber got laid

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What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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