A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

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Hey, so I know this guy who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy's cousin who's name is Mark.

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The world's smartest man walks into a bar. And he orders the best most reasonably priced drink.

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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Why did a boy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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What's grey got white stripes and can't climb trees? Car park.

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Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

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what does the homeless man do when he gets home? nothing, he's homeless

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What did the boy find on his laptop? -Nothing, he comes from a broken home and can't afford one.

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Greg and Michal once had a fight I lost.

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Your mom is such a slut, she had unprotected sex at least once.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

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Why did the man suck at basketball? Because he is white, 5 foot 2, and has no arms. Posted By: Lram

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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Why did the boy die? He had cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender wanna help me out!" The bartender says "no."

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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