Kid: mom what happens when grandpa farts? Mom: well son... Everyone leaves the room

What doesnt have arms and legs? A brick.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

What do you get when you cross an orangatang with a grizzly bear? Nothing, they just walk past each other unless the bear eats the shit out of the monkey then feeds it to her cubs

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

Anti-joke.

How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

Roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt.,

Why couldn't Jenny speak right? Cause she had autism.

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

You know what they say about men with big feet? Big penis.

What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

you are a åsshole :)

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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