A tree fell in the forest. The person in the house it hit heard it.

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

Girl: Want to stay over at mine tonight? Guy: Yeah I'd love to! Girl: Tough, you can't

Why couldnt the boy poop? Because he was staring right in his eye.

Q: What is, in full, Donald Trump's speech to the Republican National Convention? A: This. I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! Trump tromp troomp trimp treemp tramp trump trump trump!

When life hands you lemons, you should question your sanity

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

knock knock hold on im takin a poop!

what's silver and red and keeps crashing into the walls? a baby with forks in its eyes

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

How do you make a model ugly? you shoot her in the face.

How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

yuor momma so fat she has type 2 diabetes

What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

why did summer hit the child because the child is jackson

have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...