A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

Whats worse than 911..? The plane ride there.

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

Why is Obama the Antichrist? Salad.

Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

A man sat on a chair

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a load of bread.

Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

Sometimes sentences just don't end the way that you think they potato

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was feeling suicidal due to an existential crisis.

YouTube Is Red Facebook Is Blue Porn Hub Is Down You'll Have To Do

Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

i used to be gay. now i am bisexual.

What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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