- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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Why did the Gazelle run away. Because a lion was nearby and as we all know, nature called for the lion to be a carnivore, so the gazelle is in danger of being consumed by the lion.

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Why can't the boy ride his bike to school? It has no wheels.

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What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

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i have two hands.

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Whats worse than missing the bus? Having the short bus picking u up

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What do you call a black pilot? A niigger

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Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

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what happens when I bought a car. A man stole it from me and killed my family.

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What walks on it's hands My uncle

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? ..He died.

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Pokemon go: Team mystic

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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"Hheheheh Hey Butthead"- "Were Gonna Score!"

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You can go out to eat without posting it on Facebook.

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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If a little boy teleported to mars how fast would he get there? Little boys are incapable of breaking down their molecular structure in order to send their individual particles faster than the speed of light in any given direction. Thus this question is illogical and can not be answered.

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knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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What's clear on the outside and grey on the inside? An elephant in a plastic bag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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