Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve

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Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

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One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops