How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Hellen Keller name her dog? Her parents named it Spot; Hellen Keller isn't able to speak due to her handicapped muteness.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

*Phone rings* Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When will racism end? When everyone's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What worse than the holocaust? Danny's.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? One is a specific type of sports car, and the other is a sad destruction of many young lives

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Priest, Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar... i forgot the rest of the joke, but your mothers a whore!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops