Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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Take off your shoes.

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

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Have you seen the painting by Stevie Wonder? It's a Monet and this museum's most prized piece. Just kindly ask Mr. Wonder to step aside a bit.

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How many of amanda todd's frinds does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, she doesn't have any

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

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what do you do to get a guy to vomit?? kick him in the balls!

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No.

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

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Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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