Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

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why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

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A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

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What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? Seven brutally abused and raped 6 as a child.

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Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

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What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a dick you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now,

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

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Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

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Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

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Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

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why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

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What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

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How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

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Farmers are outstanding in their fields

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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