I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Q. What does a blonde and beer bottles have in common? A. Nothing. Blonde is a hair color and beer bottles are inanimate objects used to contain various brands of beer.

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Ask me if you can see my dinosaur. Can I see your dinosaur? No dinosaurs don't exist sillyhead!

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What did the snow flake which could talk say to the other snow flake which could talk None of us are the same.

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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what did the police do when they saw an arab running towards a building? Watched him run by because he was probably late for something

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I have Alzheimer. What?

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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Guess what! what haha u listened to me

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What's up brah brah

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the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

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varför skriver jag på svenska jag vet inte

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1:Nice comeback. 2: If I wanted my cum back, I would get it off your mom's face

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What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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What number comes after 29? 30.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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