What's worse than getting stabbed Getting stabbed two times

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Wanna hear something funny? Sure. Okay,cool

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A Mexican man is sitting in his mansion.

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knock knock. Who's there? The delivery man.

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Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

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Why did the old man get wet even though he was using an umbrella? Because it didn't save from falling off the bridge.

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Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ted. Come in.

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What's worse than seeing 5 dead babies on the side of the road? Realizing slavery is banned after buying a perfectly good young black male for a reasonable price at your local walmart.

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What did the Chinaman say to the other Chinaman? I dont know, he was speaking in Chinese.

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i have to pee out my ass.

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What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

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What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

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A man ate a lot of ice cream he had double bypass surgery 3 months later

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon ones a live the other isnt

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Roses are red violets are flowers jordan and me did it for hours If you know what i mean xxx

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia Poem make YOU!

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What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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How do you break up a fight between two blacks I have ADD and Im proud of it

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I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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