- Anti Joke

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because it is the decaying remains of a corpse and therefore lacks brain and muscle tissue depriving it of the ability of though and movement both of which are key skills in the art of dancing.

Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

What is a chair?

What did the Egyptian helicopter do when it went into the pyramid? Exploded.

A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because it is the decaying remains of a corpse and therefore lacks brain and muscle tissue depriving it of the ability of though and movement both of which are key skills in the art of dancing.

What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

Justin Bieber got laid

you know whats funny... nothing.

How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

Why did the girl fall off her bike? she got a fridge thrown at her

why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow