how do you make time fly? throw a clock out a window.

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What did the blonde get for Christmas? A Brain

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Why don't women need watches? Because they probably have a cell phone, which works just as well.

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? -A pilot

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Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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there was a blind kid and a man wearing a WWJD & Livstrong bracelet touched his eyes and he could see. He wasn't used to the light and walked into traffic and died instantly.

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

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Roses are red I have a phone,no texts me am forever alone~The Jokers

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Where was I born? Pakistan. You?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

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A mans opinion.

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How did the black man cross the road after 5 years of trying to and getting hit by cars every time? some1 put KFC on the other side. MrBounty44

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Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

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Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

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Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

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my eyes hurt from what? being open too much

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What's Red and Invisible? No Tomatos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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