Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

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What's the difference between Bobby and a plane? Bobby can be sexually molested.

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What is the mexican dream? To jump the border

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one day four teenage boys started doing drugs. They jumped off a cliff and died.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

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What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

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What did the gay man do last night? Had a curry

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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A mushroom walks into a bard and the bartender admonishes him and tells him to leave. The mushroom says "Aw, c'mon...you stupid jerk!"

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"Free to play" Play free "right now"

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What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

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What did the retarded asian dolphin eat for breakfast? A big bowl of shit

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it was a breazy night my pecker was shriveld up like a loose bit of ham. i tucked it in between my legs and dicided to pull my pants down to my ancles and began to run like a sissy. i saw a stumpy little juice ed in the distance it was peter andre he told me that he wanted a slut fucken and said he wanted to pull my banjo right back to the balls and suck it till the moon goes down i cumed all over his glasses then we began to kiss i bent over for him and he stook is fat fucken trout in my dark tight cave there was swet dripping from my cock aka carl mcvittie

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A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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1

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

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What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He cracked his skull and died in the hospital shorty afterward.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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