Why did Suzie fall off her swing? She was dead

What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

What's the difference between a black man and a bag of crap? Quite a bit. The black man is a human male of the Kingdom Animalia, while the bag is an inanimate object. The only similarity between them would be that they both contain organic matter.

what has 2 eyes but can't see... an asian

A man ordered tomato and basil, but received tomato with a man. the man's name is Basil!

A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

What happens when you walk by two black men? You walk by two black men.

What got stolen from the poor boys house... Nothing, he was so poor that he couldn't even afford any thing

i don't get it...none of these are funny.

If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

tight butthole 4 lyfe.

What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

knock knock who's there Berry Joe Berry Joe who? I just told you, Berry Joe. oh.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...