What do you call a dolphin on a unicycle? You need medical help

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind

Q.what do you call 7x7 A.A math equation

What's 6 + 9? 15.

How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

Alchohol.

Whats the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't pick up the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick, and could not speak during the last few weeks of his life.

What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

Why did the black guy hit his head while walking through a doorway? Because he was tall.

When is a tree not a tree? When it's a rock.

love is a homeless guy searchin' for treasure in the middle of the rain and finding a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out they're all filled with chocolate and even though he's heartbroken he can't complain cuz he was hungry in the first place.

I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

Your mom is like a tire iron: she's a whore

What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

Hello Braydon

they sent me too your moms house and 9 months later you are here

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? You don't, the giraffe is a savanah animals and there is no physical way for a giraffe to fit in a refridgerator.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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