Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

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Why was Sally rolling in the grass? She was on fire.

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's the police, they ask the questions.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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NO! Nero created the MULTIVERSE During the sixth day... And on the seventh... He did not get any sleep or rest either...¨ SO THE GREAT EXPLOSION OF ENDORPHIN'S WAS CREATED AND IT WAS GOOD! Moral:"Seriously, get lost, only the trio of the Gods Me,Myself, and I, are worthy of this tribulation!

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charlie sheen losing

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A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

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What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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A man walks into a bar... "Ouch"

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What's the cookie monster's favorite kind of cookie? Oreos

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what is the difference between a park bench and a black guy? the park bench is an inanamite object and doesn't have feelings

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

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How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

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why did the cow eat a computer? Why? Who knows

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Whats Black White and Red all over? oh, wait. what time were we supposed to meet that landlord?

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops