How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

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i got angry and i was like " i really want to kick someone" ,my friend was on the ground and shes like "you can kick me" ,and i'm like "REALLY" ,then i kicked her really hard and she cried...

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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It is so hard to write an antijoke.

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Q: What's worse than eating cauliflowers? A: Eating cauliflowers and getting raped by Jerry Sandusky at the age of 7.

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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Q, whats worst then being trapped in a house with a ghost. A, being trapped in a house with thirteen ghosts.

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Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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womens rights

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What did the nazi say to the jew? im gay

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Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

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Straight men can be bronies.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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A plane full of atheists, with one Christian, crashes into a field over Ohio. Everybody but the Christian dies upon impact. Amazed, a news reporter on the scene of the crash, asks the man, "How did you suvive this tragic event?" "I had a parachute." Responds the man.

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I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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