What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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Customer: "I can't turn my computer on." Phone support: "Do you have power?" Customer: "Yes." Phone support: "Do you have fingers?" Customer: "No."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, this is stupid, Violets are purple Violets are purple Oranges are orange Nothin' rhymes with orange wait.... DOORHINGE!!!!! -sincerely, That famous Orange on YouTube

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- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

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Q:What did the Black man say to New York? A: Black Out.

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How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? You don't, the giraffe is a savanah animals and there is no physical way for a giraffe to fit in a refridgerator.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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Prostitution is bad.......

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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What walks on it's hands My uncle

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What do you call a black pilot? A niigger

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i have two hands.

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Whats worse than missing the bus? Having the short bus picking u up

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what happens when I bought a car. A man stole it from me and killed my family.

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Why can't the boy ride his bike to school? It has no wheels.

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If a little boy teleported to mars how fast would he get there? Little boys are incapable of breaking down their molecular structure in order to send their individual particles faster than the speed of light in any given direction. Thus this question is illogical and can not be answered.

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

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knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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Pokemon go: Team mystic

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"Hheheheh Hey Butthead"- "Were Gonna Score!"

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You can go out to eat without posting it on Facebook.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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