Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

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A man walked into a bar There were some other people there too

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they all can run jump steal and shoot

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. A heated religious debate ensues in which everyone is uncomfortable and leaves questioning their own faith and fearing the unknown.

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What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

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you know what is so funny?! jokes..................................

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Rick Santorum 2012

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Knock Knock. Who's there? .

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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why was the guy stranded on an island? because his boat crashed.

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What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

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Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

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What's purple and has four wheels? A frog, except for the purple and four wheels part.

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I get no respect at all. That's because I am a liar and a thief with no redeeming qualities.

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What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

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A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

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The skeleton walks into a bar. Everyone is confused and leaves.

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What's brown and sticky? 'Brown' is a colour, and 'sticky' is a consistency. Please try and use correct grammar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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