they sent me too your moms house and 9 months later you are here

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

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Why did the black guy hit his head while walking through a doorway? Because he was tall.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Prostitution is bad.......

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What's worse than not finding your true love in high school? Dying

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If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

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What do you call a hairless penis, whatever gay name you decided to nickname it

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Customer: "I can't turn my computer on." Phone support: "Do you have power?" Customer: "Yes." Phone support: "Do you have fingers?" Customer: "No."

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What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, this is stupid, Violets are purple Violets are purple Oranges are orange Nothin' rhymes with orange wait.... DOORHINGE!!!!! -sincerely, That famous Orange on YouTube

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- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

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Q:What did the Black man say to New York? A: Black Out.

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? You don't, the giraffe is a savanah animals and there is no physical way for a giraffe to fit in a refridgerator.

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Why can't the boy ride his bike to school? It has no wheels.

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Whats worse than missing the bus? Having the short bus picking u up

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What do you call a black pilot? A niigger

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i have two hands.

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What walks on it's hands My uncle

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what happens when I bought a car. A man stole it from me and killed my family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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