- Anti Joke

Bob goes swimming in the ocean. Due to the fact that his father sexually abused him as a child, and never taught him how to swim, he drowns.

What was the pirate's favorite letter W

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

once upon a time there was a girl named katie. she walked across the road. she got hit by a truck. now she's in heaven. the end,.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

Why did no one throw a fridge at the boy on the swing? Because fridges are heavy.

Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why can't Tommy ride a bike? Because Tommy is a goldfish.

Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

Back when I was your age, we had to entertain ourselves with video games and TV.