charlie sheen losing

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Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

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Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

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Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

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Rishi is a funny guy, well he thinks he is. true story.

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How many gays does it take to change a light bulb? 1, even if hes not happy im sure he would still be able to change it.

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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You cant like my stuff ive known you for like 1 day. just kidding you can like whatever you want, actually ive know you for 5 years

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What happens when a scientist tells you a lie? It's not true.

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A guy asked his Girlfriend to marry him. She said Hey! a Dump Truck! and the mental Boyfriend forgot all about the Proposal and was amazed by the Dump Truck.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

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Guess what I saw... Wood, I'm a carpenter.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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What's a ghost's favourite country? Fraaaaance.

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Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A severely beaten and bruised man who was found un conscience and robbed in a dark parking lot behind Dennys at 2 o'clock in the morning.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What's a fail with a bowl on its head, a 30 year old, and a 5 year old at the same time? Justin Beiber

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A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

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what's blue and goes blub blub? a blue blub blub

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why do people play xbox 360's? because there poor people who cant afford a ps3

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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Dylan is gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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