Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. He values his privacy and will not tell me his motives.

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What is black and red? Something that is black and red.

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James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

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What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

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what sad about 4 mexican dieing in a car crash??? My car

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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What ended my last relationship? Oncoming traffic.

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Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they choose to. this is a free country, where people are free to travel as they please, despite what their sexual orientation may be. Jerk.

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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Where did Lil' Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Dylan is a person

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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anti jokes r not funny, jk, thats a joke, i bet sum of u losers will like this cuz all of these jokes r horrible

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How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

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Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

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what do you think when you see someone throw a man with no arms and legs into the ocean? chances of survival are minimal

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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If you see a fat man, what do you say to him? Hopefully nothing mean, seeing as that would be demoralizing to the fat man.

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Chuck Norris screams in pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops