- Anti Joke

How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

whats 2 + 2? a black guy flying a kite

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

theres a mexican women and a black man in a car....whos driving? nobody sadly the driver was shot.

What is White over Black? Society.

Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

What is the difference between a blonde and a Mexican? Their hair color.

1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

Jimmy went to a bar, to see a stand up comedian, he heard the standup comedian tell a funny joke, so after the show, he went home and told his wife the joke and after that he said, i made that up, im funny arent i, the wife seemed shifty, so she googled the joke and found the stand up comedians joke, giggled and then proceeded to continue back angrily to Jimmy, because he just did the wrong thing, she slapped Jimmy in the face, divorced Jimmy and killed his 3 children because Jimmy plagurised, and plagurism is illegal, and now Jimmy has no children, and a red mark on his cheek and knows he did the wrong thing don't smoke kids

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

Your Black, Im Black, We're all Black

Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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